Leaving Her Mark

It was on Mother’s Day 2018 after church and a wonderful lunch, the children that were home, plus a niece I claim as a bonus daughter, went around the table to say what they loved about me, at the prompting of my then husband. It was a sweet gesture, and the only fanfare made on my behalf that day. I was a little upset but used to it at this point since that was normal for Mother’s Day.

This year, however, Sophia was 18 and could tell that my feelings were hurt. I love to celebrate all types of events from a baptism to Eagle Scout, from birthdays to graduations. Give me an event, and I’ll throw a party! But it was rarely reciprocated and since I wasn’t my husband’s mother, Mother’s Day was not considered a big deal.

Just a few days later Sophia showed up with the sweetest gifts: a sign I have in my office, a picture that talks about a mother’s love, and a gift certificate for me to get a pedicure. While I had tried to hide my disappointment that Mother’s Day, she was maturing to the point she could read beyond my words.

It was on the gift card envelope that she wrote: “Just Because; I love you; Sophia” with a heart. I’m quite certain this was the last note she wrote to me before she passed away, and so I chose her words to be placed on my latest socket. 

In my mind, the process of how to make her writing appear on my prosthetic would be difficult, but knowing the right people is the key to making things happen! So, at church I hit up Scott Beasley and Kenny Barfield from The Trophy Shop of Tiftarea and pitched them the idea. As people around them were stacking our sanctuary chairs, Scott and Kenny began to speak to each other in a computer and graphic language I was unfamiliar, and then turn to me and said, “Yeah, we can do that; shouldn’t be a problem!”

After proofs back and forth and measurements from my prosthetist Andrew, they manufactured the cloth with her handwriting, her last written words of love for me. Words that were written from a place of maturity. Since we had many of the same traits – stubborn, strong willed, opinionated – we butted heads like many mothers and daughters do, but we had reached a really good place of enjoying each other’s company. Oh yes, we still drove each other crazy at times, but we had begun to understand each other better.

I said after the accident when my ankle healed, I was going to get a tattoo on it, so I could share my story with others. Never did I imagine I would have the ankle removed, and a prosthetic would be my constant reminder and my gateway into sharing my story with others.

Saturday, February 4, I will run with Sophia’s words for my first 5K as an amputee. It’s not easy running as an amputee. In fact, every new thing I do – from bowling to climbing – feels extremely weird and takes quite some time to seem somewhat normal.

After skiing at Christmas, I realized my limb was capable of handling the force of my body weight, and so I immediately hit the track at home getting ready for 3.1 miles. I’ve added distance each week while keeping the same, very slow, pace.

This will be a run/walk event for me with four of my children by my side in this next adventure. In fact, they are my pit crew, much like one at Nascar. I will have to stop, remove my prosthetic, add more socks to my limb, place back on the prosthetic, and keep running. It quite possibly could make a good comedy routine!

Maybe as people pass me in the race, they can read the words, ponder what the story might be, and think of someone whom they love dearly and who left a mark in their lives.

Sophia unquestionably left her mark in my and others’ lives, and her last written words are ones I will always treasure. I hope and pray her words and our story will leave a positive message of love and hope in the years - and miles - to come.